Weigh to go..

It sure doesn't take much to manipulate my emotions. I know that very well. I would be a great candidate for some study at a teaching hospital. 

When daddy died, I was able to finally put my grief to rest from the years of waiting for the end. We knew it was coming, just not when. So I cooked and ate. Weight piled on but I had no time to consider doing anything, all my thoughts were centered on him, my family, mom and the next trip up north. There was always the nagging thought that I might "get the call" at any time. I wondered if I was ready. With all that removed, I was able to control my life, and my weight. I was getting pretty good at working it off, got a job and kept it off, got laid off and put it on.

Dang! For a year I put in applications, got rejections, cooked and cooked and did what would normally follow cooking. Then I went back to work, and again I started to control the weight, but then the lay offs started again, and stress built up and the control was gone. Then I was laid off again. I knew there would be more applications, rejections, blah, blah, blah so I just lost control, again.

Now I work from home. The kitchen is nearby. I don't pack a lunch. I still cook for others at different times. Still no control. So I did the only thing I can do. I joined Weight Watchers. At least I can be accountable to my laptop, it won't lie to me. I don't want to go to some stinking meeting, I certainly don't need the embarrassment of weighing in with an audience and if I need a pep talk, I'll find it. What I needed was a very impartial accountability that was not emotionally involved with me, told me facts and wasn't afraid of me. I'm giving it a 3 month trial, and I'm not stupid enough to set unrealistic goals. I'll do like I did last time, one week at a time. Hopefully, I'll find my momentum and keep it up.