Not much, but something

I've had a bit of a time with my thoughts lately. I try not to wallow in the past. Still, the past creates the future. I really don't know how that works, but it just does. It's mystery.

I miss my daddy. With the passing of my very good friends dad, it made me think more about my daddy. As the months, and then years, went by, I realized part of his role in the family. He was a great provider and had a very calming sense about him. He never new a stranger and I never heard him speak ill about anyone. He was very easy to be around, and he could tell a tall Texan tale like no other!

His missing is partly brought on by some family ruckus. Sisters aren't speaking, grand daughter isn't speaking to grandma except in anger, mom isn't speaking kindly to many of us. Daddy really helped mom with tempering her bitterness and helped her function with the family. Now he is not around to help this situation and I really need him. I need a mediator. I can't be the mediator. I hate this. Wonder what will happen?

I know this, that when college graduation comes (yes I am planning this already) there better be some changes. I've finally had the opportunity to speak with the in laws about not coming to the high school graduation, and that it's time to put the divorce (25 years ago) behind them all and suck it up and be a family. I can't juggle this divorce any longer. There are others to think about and for goodness sake, LETITGO! There will be other family events that will require everyone to attend. I really believe this is why God hates divorce. It never affects the couple, it affects their siblings, children, grandchildren, nephews and nieces. While they have moved on, those left behind have to juggle the divorced parents/aunts and uncles and events. It stinks.

Let the planning begin, so I am thinking perhaps a room at Phil's BBQ. I wouldn't mind have a catered event here, but I believe my mom will bring a passel of dogs with her, and it can get very frustrating dealing with a passel of undisciplined dogs. Besides, my house will stay cleaner. I will also have to find hotels for those who want to come and are family and can't stay here. That would be divorced parents, blah blah blah. And I will need to be sure to get a head count for the ceremony, since we will have a limited amount of tickets. Hmm. I will look at other sites, too. Time to scour the event section of the local paper.